• 1/3 of the time is spent showing them I love them.
• 1/3 of the time is spent training them to be like Christ.
• 1.3 of the time is spent praying and begging God that they will honor Him with their lives.

These thirds just become the natural part of our time and days together. It’s not something that I spend hours planning for – it’s just what happens. And, most of the time I find myself praying and begging God in the quiet moments that I look at them in the rear view mirror or as they look into my eyes.

How do you spend the time that you have with your kiddos?

• Engaged
• Partially Engaged
• Unengaged

If you are like me, your first thought is to be okay with the first 2 groups. We all want to keep the engaged people (and hire more of them) and if you are partially engaged, at least you are not unengaged. However, my friend led me through a process where I arrived at this thought:

I do not want anyone sitting idle and partially engaged. I either want them moving to the engaged status or moving to the unengaged status. If we can help people see that they are unengaged, then we can help the find a new place that will help them meet their dreams.

The most dangerous place for people to be in your organization is “partially engaged.” They have not bought in and they have not decided to leave. They are just existing in your organization trying to decide if they will engage or leave.

Instead of getting frustrated, help them. That will help the organization as well.

What do you think?

A few years ago we had that problem. There were 411 parking spots on campus, and we knew that our attendance was being limited by our amount of parking. So, we decided to build a “Black Friday” parking lot (we added 364 parking spots for a total of 775 spots). Everyone knows that Black Friday is the largest shopping day of the year. Stores like Wal-Mart build their parking lot for Black Friday (the parking lot will never be full at any other time of the year). As a church, your Black Friday is Easter (or your largest weekend each year). As you approach Easter weekend, do you have enough parking? Consider this:

Total Service Attendance (kids & adults on campus) / # Cars in Parking Lot = Average Attendees per Car

So, at Faith Promise, we have found that our Average Attendees per Car is 2. With 775 parking spots, we can never exceed 1500 in total worship attendance per service. However, you should tithe your total parking for transitions between services. So, with 700 parking spots, we can never exceed 1400 in total worship attendance at a service. And guess what: we have never exceeded 1400 in a service (we have 1,050 seats in our main worship center).

Here’s your action: next weekend, count people and cars! Then, create a plan for more parking on Easter Weekend and add spaces BEFORE next Easter!

Don’t say, ‘I’m not a good listener.’ Just tell the truth and say, ‘I don’t value what you have to say.’

Ouch!

So often I have the tendency to tell people that I am not a good listener. Like others at times, I like to update my imperfections and sins by giving them a better name.

Instead of not valuing what people have to say at times, I should:

• Remember that another persons feedback can make a good idea a great idea.
• Remember that just listening adds value to others – people love to be heard.
• Remember that a team is compelled by a great vision and strengthened by listening.

What about you? Do you struggle to listen to others at times?

In leadership, learn how others think. Do not just learn what they do.

When we copy others practices, we are likely to find that those practices may not work in our organization. However, when we learn how others think -

• We gain understanding. When we just copy others behavior, we are acting without understanding. When I was a kid, we had a farm to grow corn for my uncle’s cows. One day he was putting dirt down the top of the corn plants and I followed suit. He immediately asked me to stop. Then, he explained that he was only putting the dirt in the plants that had signs of a worm in them. The dirt would kill the worm. Without understanding, I was stifling the growth of the plants.

• We learn principles. Practices are great, but principles are better. If a 300 pound lineman on a football team practices throwing the football 50 yards at each practice, that will be impressive. But, that practice will not help him in the game because he will never be the quarterback. Learn the principles that drive great leaders thinking instead of copying their practices.

• We improve application. If you understand the reasons behind the practices, you’ll understand how to make application in your organization. Christian leaders often desire application over understanding. If you grow in understanding, you will minimize the number of organizational mistakes you make from copying others.

It’s harder to learn the thinking behind the practices, but that thinking will change your leadership.

Agree or disagree?

Wayne, Angie and their family have been at FPC for several years. They have served faithfully in our ministries and last fall when I told Wayne that we believed he may be God’s person for the next FPC campus, he almost passed out! They sought God as a family and yesterday he started as the Blount Campus Pastor. Check out the video intro from this past weekend.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Welcome to the team, Wayne. It is going to be awesome serving together!

As the lecture was happening, we talked about “the trust filter.” Every time there is a situation that requires trust, we process it through our “trust filter.” From my perspective, there are three basic things in that filter that impact whether we will trust the person or not. Think about these:

• Past experiences. Every time we have to trust someone, we consider our past experiences with them. Were they truthful and did they deliver what they said they would when they said they would? We subconsciously ask ourselves, “What was my past experience like when I worked with them?”

• Current realities. As we process trust, our current realities become a part of the filter. For instance, if a project has a significant impact on my job situation or the organization, I want to work with people that are trusted at the highest level. However, if the project is somewhat insignificant, my desire for trusted individuals may matter less. You current reality affects the level of trust you need from those you are working with.

• Future plans. Bottom line: if my future plans may be impacted by a person and I do not trust them, I will be less likely to work with them. So, we may both be working for the same promotion. If that is the case, my future plans will be impact my trust levels for others.

These are basic thoughts and are not complete, but I think we can see how they affect our trust in certain situations. As you lead, what other things are a part of your trust filter?

Why do this? Isn’t she only 3? In our home, we believe that building the foundation for our kids future began 10 months before they entered the world. We want them to understand who God is, His plan and purpose for their lives, and how they can best serve Him. One huge part of that will be who you marry. So, we talk about how the Prince treats the Princess to lay the foundation for the future.

If you are not discipling your kids and teaching them about the wisdom they will need for the future now, get busy! Kim’s mom tells us that you only have your kids for 3 periods of 5 years, so use that time wisely. One of ours will be 5 in April. We’re a third of the way there!

How do you disciple your kiddos?

So, this year one of my goals is to attempt to put myself in the other persons shoes.

Before I jump to the perception of the other persons wrong motives, I’m trying to pretend like I am them.

We all know that is impossible. No one can truly live in another persons shoes. But we can try. We can teach ourselves to think the best about another person and to view things from a different perspective.

You should try it.

In this debate, most people turn to 1 Chronicles 21 and the story of David taking a census of the people when God told him not to do it. But, why do we neglect all of the places where numbers where recorded as a good or neutral thing. Think about a few:

• The book of Numbers or any other census God commanded in Scripture.
• Was Jesus wrong to have counted the 5,000 & 4,000 (plus women and children) when he miraculously fed people? (Did Jesus really have to count or did He just “know”?) Was He solely focused on the number, or did the number mean something about impact?
• Was Peter wrong to have counted in Acts 1:15 (120 people were present in a meeting) and in 2:41 when 3,000 were saved? Was he solely focused on how great of a speaker he was and the response he could illicit?
• [Insert your own count passage here]

Of course they were not wrong. Numbers have a purpose but they are not the purpose. They CAN BE an expression of good or bad things in the ministry and they can be focused on with impure motives.

Instead of focusing on some people who may have numbers as their “god”, could we focus on how to increase the impact of the church in the culture to reach more people?

Remember, Jesus and Peter counted (or likely knew the count).